Pole Dancing to Gospel Hymns

I Do  

(sung)

ba bi di ba ba bi di ba ba ba bi ba bii di ba

ba dang a dang dang a dingy dong ding

I do I do I do

dip da dip da dip

ba bi di ba ba bi di ba ba ba bi ba bii di ba

ba dang a dang dang a dingy dong ding

I do...

 

But the motherfuckers say we can’t.

 

‘Cause you’re a girl

and I’m a girl….or at least something close

so the most we can hope for

is an uncivil union in Vermont

and I want church bells.

I want rosary beads.

I want Jesus on his knees.

I want to walk down the aisle

feeling the patriarchy smile.

 

That’s not true.

But I do

wanna spend my life with you.

And I want to know, fifty years from now,

when you’re in a hospital room getting ready to die,

when visiting hours are for family members only,

I wanna know they’ll let me in

to say goodbye.

 

‘Cause I’ve been fifty years

memorizing the way the lines beneath your eyes

 

form rivers when you cry,

and I’ve held my hand like an ocean at your cheek

saying, “Baby, flow to me...”

‘Cause fifty years I’ve watched you grow with me.

 

Fifty years of you never letting go of me

through nightmares and dreams

and everything in-between,

from the day I said “Buy me a ring.

Buy me a ring that will turn my finger green

so I can imagine our love is a forest.

I wanna get lost in you.“

And I swear I grew like a wild flower

every hour of the fifty years I was with you.

And that’s not to say we didn’t have hard days.

Like the day you said, “That checkout girl was so sweet.”

And I said, I’d like to eat that checkout clerk.”

and you said, “Honey that’s not funny.”

and I said, “Baby, maybe you could take a fucking

every now and joke now and then,”

 

So I slept on the couch that night.

 

But when morning came you were laughing.

Yeah, there were times we were both half-in

and half out the door, but I never needed more

 

than the stars on your skin to lead me home.

For fifty years, you were my favorite poem.

and I’d read you every night

knowing I might never understand every word

but that’s ok  ‘cause the lines of you

were the closest thing to holy I’d ever heard.

You’d say, “This kind of love has to be a verb.

We are paint on a slick canvas

it’s gonna take a whole lot to stick,

but if we do, we’ll be a masterpiece.”

 

And we were.

 

From the beginning living in towns

that frowned at our hand-holding,

folding up their stares like hate notes into our pockets

so we could pretend they weren’t there.

You said, “Fear is only a verb if you let it be.

Don’t you dare let go of my hand.”

That was my favorite line.

 

That and the time we saw two boys

 

kissing on the streets in Kansas,

and we both broke down crying,

‘cause it was Kansas and you said,

“What are the chances of seeing

anything but corn in Kansas!?”

 

We were born again that day.

I cut your cord and you cut mine

and the chords of time

played like a concerto of faith,

like we could feel the rope unwind,

the fraying red noose of hate loosening,

loosening from years of…

People like you aren’t welcome here.

People like you can’t work here.

People like you cannot adopt.

 

So we had lots of cats and dogs

and once even a couple of monkeys

you taught to sing,

Hey, hey, we’re the monkeys

You were crazy like that .

 

And I was so crazy about you.

On nights you couldn’t sleep

I’d lay awake for hours counting sheep for you,

and you would rewrite the rhythm of my heartbeat

with the way you held me in the morning,

resting your head on my chest

I swear my breath turned silver the day your hair did.

like I swore marigolds grew

in the folds of my eyelids the first time I saw you,

and they bloomed the first time I watched you

dance to the tune of our kitchen kettle in our living room.

 

In a world that could have left us hard as metal

we were soft as nostalgia together.

For fifty years we feathered wings too wide to be prey

and we flew through days strong and through days fragile

You would fold your love into an origami firefly

and throw it through my passageways

‘til all my hidden chambers were lit with lanterns.

Now every trap door

every pore of my heart is open

because of you, because of us

So I do, I do, I do

wanna be in that room with you.

 

When visiting hours are for family members only

I wanna know they’ll let me in.

I wanna know they’ll let me hold you

while I sing…

 

ba bi di ba ba bidiba ba babi ba bi di ba

dang a dang dang a dingy dong ding

I’m so in love with you

baby, I’m so in love with you

dip a dip a dip ba bi di ba a dang a dang dang

a dingy dong ding

 

goodbye